Night virgil {Umlindo}

I Attended one of those some time last week. During umlindo I am not sure what people are supposed to talk about because I have attended a few and people turn to talk about different things also depending on the religion or church that is leading umlindo.

Some people believe this is where people are supposed to talk about the person that will be buried the next day, but some some disagree saying this is where the word of God needs to be preached to the people so that they get to see eternal life.

I know people differ on this one and if you want to know my thoughts on this one, stick around I will let you know.

In the last 2 milindo's that I attended at home i must say i have been entertained more than anything. I am starting to enjoy attending imilindo also it depends the church that leads imilindo. In the first one it was led by Faith mission "abasindisiwe". Part of my family attend that church and some attend "abafundi bakakrestu". If you know these churches immediately u will know why I was entertained more than crying.

Both these groups are very vocal about their beliefs and who ever you are and whatever you say they do not give you a chance instead they are the right ones according to these groups we are all wrong as they call people who do not go to the same church as them "abamnyama". In this case it was a case of 2 very judgemental groups judging each other and explaing why theirs is the right one. But what was more funny was that all the other churches like Roma, tshetshi, wisile, zion are the victims of these people this time they were watching the best match fighting with a bible the interesting match. Both groups quoting the same bible to justify their actions although one is saying the others are wrong and vise versa.

I really did enjoy this. Not sure how to explain this but... one day I will have enough time and write about it.

Incase you want to know I also subscribe to one of the groups, will let you know some other day which one.

Programme....I mean the one in the morning of the funeral. I really do not like attending that because this is where you are reminded about the person you have lost, this is where all memories come back, this is where most people cry. I am not sure this is necessary.

Will finish this some other time, but will appreciate your thoughts

Serious quote

A colleague of mine sent me this quote:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, smoke in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - What a ride!"

What do you think

Thursday EC

On thursday am going to Eastern Cape, I wonder how is life there maybe not life because nothing changes there in the deep rural villages of Eastern Cape. So no need to wonder what life is like..Poverty is the main thing. Maybe I should rephrase my question and say I wonder how is the weather there. Will find out soon but I guess it will be very cold and dry as usual during this time of the year. But am looking forward to see the other people of my family. The long journey between Cape Town and Eastern Cape it really bores me, its too long and boring.

Lighter than previous

....not so serious

2day Cape Town is a bit chilly..I am dressed in all my winter clothes I am in browns if you know what I mean. Sounds like its gotta be a a very cold weekend.

...Ciaw....

2005/2006 not a good year for me so far....

Not sure where to start, but there has been a series of events happening in my life or around me. First In March 05 I lost my close Aunt, Dec 05 when I was going home with my family we had a car accident and our car was written off, February 05 my father had a car accident on his way to Queenstown, April my younger sister (6yrs) was hit by a car and died on the spot. Now in May I have lost my other Aunt...

But hey I will hold my head high above my shoulders and be fine, hope this is the just a phase that is gonna pass.

Oh!!! not again

As I have mentioned it before in my previous posts. I hate talking about this now and again as if I want people to feel pity for me, please that is not the case but it shows how serious it affects me me this disease.

Today at 10.00 got a call from Dad in the Eastern Cape telling me that my Aunt has passed away. Ok maybe you might say I knew that she was ill and very ill to be specific when I left her she was already in the last stages but couldn't stay to look after her, Yes I knew and indeed I was expecting this might happen anytime as I saw the situation when I left EC but hey not so soon. To me it all happened so soon I was hoping atleast after taking the treatment she will be better or the worst that she could live until December.

I am saying I knew and I was expecting this because that is what I wanted to believe but unfortunately when it finally happened I realised I was not yet ready for it, its just what I was telling myself with the hope to believe it.

Can you imagine the pain of a parent having to nurse or to take care of her sick daughters in their last days, watch sickness taking them away from her day by day, hear them crying because of a pain they are feeling while you can't help them. Imagine parent burying her daughters instead of them burrying her. Why does it have to be her? why both of them? why the same cause of death? why within such a short space of time - one last year March now this Aunt this year, Why?

I was not very close to my Aunt that passed away because she was a bit older than me, I was close because we use to live in the same house but she was an adult and I was a child unlike my Aunt that passed away last year that was like my sister. Nonetheless we lived in the same house saw everyday that makes her close enough to me that is why when she passed away it felt like a part of me was taken away.

This Aunt or my Aunt was the last one still alive (36yrs), she is leaving a child 6 months old and other 2 older sons now my grandmother will need to be a mother to these children. How long will she be alive herself because she is an old woman in her early 80's to take care of these kids. Will she be able to take care of these kids because she is very old. Sooner or later they will be orphans form part of the SA Stastistics of children left by parents at a young age because of age.

Anyway we all going to die one day that I know and they were also going to die even if it was not HIV related, but still the thought of of them being killed by HIV related deseases makes me more scared and helpless.

I know this is not just my story, its a story of hundred of other South Africans out there.

Brothers and sisters we are together in this struggle...